Grow up...
Today my sister had a disappointing day over some small issues. My mum came back as usual when my sis was having her usual down time, made lots of noises and bla bla and asked this one sarcastic question that hit my head. `...I really don't know when you guys are going to grow up.'
Perhaps I have an answer to that. And perhaps the fault isn't totally one sided. Perhaps...if you would let us grow up and treat us like one, our natural human mechanism would at least force us to grow up. I do believe in many occasions there lies a 50-50 fault principle. Steven Covey had his 90-10 principle. I had my 50-50 principle in fault. Steven explains that, imagine on a breakfast table, you and your family having the usual breakfast, milk, toast, etc...and suddenly your kid spilled his milk. Now, your kid contributed to 10 of the situation, how you react to that, holds the 90. The 50-50 works in the same way in many incidents in fault. Fault finding exist and its not a bad thing to do, if you do it the 50-50 way. It won't work in every situation, but it certainly does in a phsychological way. Which here I am going to apply to the `..I wonder when you guys arae going to grow up issue'. Did you in the first place treats us like grown ups and let us take responsibilities as one or do you try to settle things for us the way you did when we were 5 years old? Do you talk to us like we're 30 or do you talk to us still believing we're the 3 year old we used to be? Do you cover us and do you still try to make decision for us? Do you expect us to follow them? Everyone after a certain age, not only grows physically but also mentally and suddenly there builds this defence and control mechanism inside themself. My question is, how would you feel as a wife, if not your mother comes telling you whether or not you can have a baby? What you name them and when you should have them, which school they should go to? If you think that is fine with you, that will be fine with all your 30 year old child when you try to impose your decision in their lifes. Marriage is not the cutting point of control over own life. It was never and will never be a valid reason for giving that amount of freedom to choosing your own life. Because if such is the case, hypothetically, if one isn't married at the age of 60, they'd still be under the control and decisions of their parents? Or if your daughter got pregnant and got married age at the age of 13( hypothethical, unless a man who sleeps with another girl at that age wouldn't be convicted of statutory rape)be free of your decisions for her? Looking back at the history of mankind...those who made a name for themself are those whom took a way not one which their parents have decided for them, but one which they believe and have passion in and go all the way with it. Of course, a parent's advice can do no wrong, but seriously how difficult it can be for someone to give you advice like study hard, get a professional degree, be a doctor or a lawyer and that will secure your life, I know because I've seen more life than you have. Is that even an advice? Perhaps someone who lives by the street who begs for food and eat a meal a day would know that. No pun intended......
Perhaps I have an answer to that. And perhaps the fault isn't totally one sided. Perhaps...if you would let us grow up and treat us like one, our natural human mechanism would at least force us to grow up. I do believe in many occasions there lies a 50-50 fault principle. Steven Covey had his 90-10 principle. I had my 50-50 principle in fault. Steven explains that, imagine on a breakfast table, you and your family having the usual breakfast, milk, toast, etc...and suddenly your kid spilled his milk. Now, your kid contributed to 10 of the situation, how you react to that, holds the 90. The 50-50 works in the same way in many incidents in fault. Fault finding exist and its not a bad thing to do, if you do it the 50-50 way. It won't work in every situation, but it certainly does in a phsychological way. Which here I am going to apply to the `..I wonder when you guys arae going to grow up issue'. Did you in the first place treats us like grown ups and let us take responsibilities as one or do you try to settle things for us the way you did when we were 5 years old? Do you talk to us like we're 30 or do you talk to us still believing we're the 3 year old we used to be? Do you cover us and do you still try to make decision for us? Do you expect us to follow them? Everyone after a certain age, not only grows physically but also mentally and suddenly there builds this defence and control mechanism inside themself. My question is, how would you feel as a wife, if not your mother comes telling you whether or not you can have a baby? What you name them and when you should have them, which school they should go to? If you think that is fine with you, that will be fine with all your 30 year old child when you try to impose your decision in their lifes. Marriage is not the cutting point of control over own life. It was never and will never be a valid reason for giving that amount of freedom to choosing your own life. Because if such is the case, hypothetically, if one isn't married at the age of 60, they'd still be under the control and decisions of their parents? Or if your daughter got pregnant and got married age at the age of 13( hypothethical, unless a man who sleeps with another girl at that age wouldn't be convicted of statutory rape)be free of your decisions for her? Looking back at the history of mankind...those who made a name for themself are those whom took a way not one which their parents have decided for them, but one which they believe and have passion in and go all the way with it. Of course, a parent's advice can do no wrong, but seriously how difficult it can be for someone to give you advice like study hard, get a professional degree, be a doctor or a lawyer and that will secure your life, I know because I've seen more life than you have. Is that even an advice? Perhaps someone who lives by the street who begs for food and eat a meal a day would know that. No pun intended......
posted by wilson at 11:06 PM
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